Did I wake you up this morning? Did I send you a text at the crack of dawn with a to-do list for your day? No? Then why does your shirt say, “But First, Coffee”? Or “Buy Me Brunch” or “I woke up like this”? Did I ask?
You can stop gawking – the rant ends there. This isn’t about how stupid the sayings are on the shirts in question (the answer is very). This is about how this trend is being presented to us as fashion. Let’s break this down, shall we?
I’ve never liked the feeling that someone is pulling one over on me. It’s a sickening feeling for anyone, I think, being duped. I browse the “Keep” app occasionally (once I’ve memorized that day’s items on the RealReal), and I’ve found my eyes get stuck in the back of my head sometimes from rolling them so hard at these self-referential shirts.
Self-referential really is the operative term here. These shirts are intended to communicate something you plan to do. They are literally a tumblr quote or an Instagram caption for what you did or hope to do today. Have we become that lame? Are we really so two-dimensional as women that we will pay money for a shirt that is a parody of our real lives?
A parody! It’s true when you think about it. Here’s one:
Great. This shirt just screams “nailed it” doesn’t it? Don’t you totally know that girl? I hope not. I hope no one is just into those three things. And the fact that some old white man or woman thought this up and had it printed on a shirt means that actually, this isn’t fashion. This is a ploy for your money, in hopes that someone likes being described like an Instagram photo.
Then we get into the cautionary messaging.
Omg, that’s hilarious, right? “Dude, lol, I’m like fashionably insane. Like, I will so throw a glass of wine at you across a table. I have issues. More issues than vogue, LOL.”
Nope. No. I don’t care how tan the headless girl is in her high-waisted cutoffs (I bet there’s a messy bun up there, too) – this is not fashion. It’s pathetic.
And finally, the most meta example I stumbled on recently that pushed me over the edge. Voila:
I just. I can’t. Can this please stop? Can we please just do things instead of writing them on our shirt? Or the shirt of a girl drinking Starbucks on our phone case? We are individuals, not tumblrisms.
Thoughts? Am I taking this too far? Do you hate this trend as much as I do?